afraid of falling

I was watching my kids at work play this past week.  I work with infants and toddlers and the one thing they do really well is falling.  Sometimes when they fall they get hurt- a scrape on their arm, or a bump on their forehead but most of the time all it takes is picking them up and dusting them off.  It made me think of a time that I remember as a child wondering when I would stop falling and when I became afraid of falling. 

Most likey it was late elementary school when I though, hm...I haven't fell down in a while I am getting pretty good at this walking thing...and it wasn't long after that the fear of falling began.

 I remember around my middle school years walking on a railroad truss over a river with my dad.  We made it to the middle and I remember having a fear of falling, or my foot slipping between the large gaps in the ties that shown the river below.  I held on to my dads arm like I hadn't done in years, but the feeling was euphoric when we made it back to the solid ground.

I remember riding horses and never having a fear of falling off.  I had such a trust of the horse and a love for riding that no matter if I did fall I would have gotten right back on.  In fact, I remember when we were breaking my horse Hope to ride she had started out so good.  We decided to take a quick ride I had my shorts on my parents were walking behind.  We made it almost to the barn with a horsefly bite me on the leg.  I went to get it off when it spooked Hope and she bucked.  Before I knew it I had hit the ground.  My dad asked if I was okay, went and got the horse and had me get right back on.  "For the horse" so she would know that wasn't going to happend everytime we came back to the barn, but in hindsight it was really for me.  As I have gotten older I havent' had the time to devote to riding who knows maybe the fear of falling that keep me grounded. 

What is it about falling that adults don't like.  For elderly there is a major fear of falling- falling results in broken bones away from phones to call for help.  But for us who are prime, why do we have such a fear of falling, maybe not literally falling, but showing our weakness. 

I will admit I do not like to show my weakness'.  I find when I am in the Word daily and in prayer daily- falling isn't on my mind.  My arms are wrapped tightly around my father's arm, daddy's nearby to dust me off and help me back up again.  He takes my weakness and shows how strong he really is and that his strength is now mine. 

However life gets crazy busy right- I mean who takes time to read their bible everyday, much less keep the words written on our hearts, who has time to pray besides the one fastly and visually seen at McDonalds so all will know our food is blessed.  Your burger is just a burger...my burger and fries are blessed.  This is where fear sets in its mildest form.  

A lot of my fears now are of  being still and letting God do the movement.  2 years ago when we moved back home, we said we wanted to continue our  peaceful lives of enjoying the day, enjoying God, and enjoying each other- I only kept a planner to keep up with B's days off when we lived in Windsor.  We decided we wanted this to continue and our lives would not be scheduled to death.  just 2 short years later I have my planner slap full.  I have friends I schedule months in advance to hang out with and even then cannot "commit" to that date.  Our falling fear is now a fear of being still and the silence is deafening.  But I think the definition of "living" in asheboro is much different than it was for "living" in Windsor for us.  When I wake up in the morning, I just lie in bed as still as I can be, and listen to the silence.  I know its the last 5 minutes of my day that are a solace, a time to be still, the rest of the day stays in motion. 

1. Living- Verb Most commonly used in larger cities/towns where living is defined by "doing" or "going". 
2. Living- Verb  Most commonly used in slower paced towns in which living is defined by "being"

--so thankful my God is there to pick me up dust me off and just let me Be who he is molding me to Be, to be still before him and know that He is in ever motion even when I cannot see it. 

"O give thanks unto the Lord; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the people.  Sing until Him, sing psalms unto Him; talk ye of all His wondrous works.  Glory ye in His holy name; let the heart of them rejoice that seek the Lord." Ps. 105:1-3